Becoming sparce

So I havn't done a devo in a while, and I'm sorry, to who tho I'm not sure because no one really reads this blog anyways. But I'm sorry to God at least because its definately not fair to him. The truth is, I can't even encourage myself right now and I can't feel right trying to encourage someone else.  I know we are supposed to help eachother out through our own struggles, and I still believe that. And I know I'm just making excuses. I just need a lot of prayer because I feel myself fighting against God, and doubting His faithfulness against my better judgement. Its just hard. But I hope to have some devos done soon. I'm sorry if im letting anyone down.